Exploding Volcan Turrialba and What to Do When a Bull Rushes the SUV

It was a weekend replete with an erupting volcano, hilarious Spanish malapropisms, and an angry bull charging the car.

We almost canceled our visit to Tres Equis, located right at the foot of the volcano Turrialba, because on Thursday the volcano spewed a layer of ash that shut down the San Jose airport and rained down on us in our distant suburbia of Escazu.  But, we were eagerly reassured by our friends who live there that the eruption isn't affecting them at all and that our visit will be perfectly safe.  So, we decided to proceed with our visit unbeknownst to us that on Friday night the volcano erupted again, coughing up

"incandescent" materials like a massive Chinese new year celebration.  But, ignorant and blissfully naive, we headed out to visit Maricela, Johnnie, Jason and Julisa who live in a charming village at the base of an actively erupting volcano.

Our visit was heartwarming.  We ate freshly fried empanadas stuffed with cheese straight from
Maricela's mom's dairy farm. The kids ran around the village in a pack of kids playing everything from tag to soccer.  Bunny rabbits hopped around like a scene from Teletubbies.  And, we were constantly surrounded by the Maricela and Johnnie's kind, generous and gregarious extended family and neighbors. With them, we spoke a lot of Spanish.

Of course our Spanish is not perfect, and malapropisms abounded. When Ilana was asked how old she will be on her upcoming birthday, she replied, quinientos.  Five hundred.  She really meant 50 (cinquenta). A few minutes later Ilana complimented Maricela on her earrings (arretes) only Ilana actually said, pointing at Maricela's neck, I like your fins (aletas).  Ilana, are you hungry?  Ilana nodded emphatically.  "Tengo mucho hombre".  She has a lot of man.  She meant hambre.  To top out the malapropisms for the week, Ilana let Maricela know that for the sleeping arrangements, we brought inflamable mattresses.  To her defense, inflable (inflatable) seems like it's missing a syllable or two.


On Sunday, we gathered together a group of eleven and ventured to the rafting mecca of the Paquari river.  To get there, we had to cross a little creek in our SUV.  It took a lot of coaxing before I would cross the creek and even then, my heart was pounding in my chest.  Let's just say we've had our share of river issues.  Then, we had to wind our way past cows and bulls down the steepest road you can imagine.  All the way down, with eleven people in one 4 cylinder SUV, I kept thinking about how and if we are going to make it back up the mountain.

Down on the river, we watched the hordes of tourists depart on their rafting adventures.  Then, when the buses, vans, rafts and guides all left, the beautiful river and surrounding jungle was ours.  We jumped in the refreshing water, picnicked on chicken and Caribbean rice and beans cooked with chunks of coconut and coconut milk, and tried to catch fish.  All the while tadpoles motored around in the shallows, fish zipped up and down the river, and giant hawks circled above.

At last, we had to leave.  All eleven of us got into the front seat, the backseat, and the trunk, and started our slow ascent up the hill.  I was in my lowest gear and taking it slowly as to not overwhelm my sensitive vehicle.  As I rounded a corner, a angry bull (not a gentle cow) was on the side of the road. "What do I do?"  I asked my 10 passengers.  "Take it slowly."  I approached the bull ever so slowly, but he did not think that my rolling forward toward him was a friendly gesture.  As we were right next to the glaring beast, it

A similar, non-threatening bull...

lowered it's head and pointed it's massive horns toward the passenger door.  "Jale rapido, Jale, Jale!" Johnnie shouted.  I wasn't sure what he meant, but I guessed correctly.  I floored it and we raced by the angry bull before it could put a massive dent in the door.  Seconds afterward the car erupted in nervous laughter.  Only in Costa Rica do you almost get your SUV gored by a bull, all the while driving up a hill with 10 other passengers sardined together.